Introducing: Rant Day!: Things that pissed me off this week

New feature, you say? Alright, new feature it is. And I’m sure this will be easy to keep up.

I’m not yet sure if it will be every Friday, or Saturday, or just on the weekend, but I’m sure I’ll be able to vent once a week. I mean, c’mon, we’re talking about me here!

So what pissed me off this week? Well…

Item 1: Slow people. Where do you come from and why don’t you crawl back there? Why do you need to be… so… slow? Why are you always in front of me? Why do you insist of walking in the exact middle of the sidewalk so no one can overtake you? Why do you and your friends decide the sidewalk is yours and yours only and none shall pass? You’re not fucking Gandalf, but I swear I’ll go balrog on your ass if you don’t move out of the way right the fuck now! This goes double for suits! I don’t care if you’re lawyers! Even the Queen of England doesn’t insist on walking six men abreast on a public sidewalk! And don’t you dare give me the stink eye when my bicycle bell scares the shit out of you, that’s what you get for walking in the clearly marked bike lane! What are you good for and why do you exist?!

Item 2: People who stand in passageways. It may be a doorway, like the only entrance to the department building. It may be the door of the subway. It may be the door of the train. It may be a narrow corridor. They are there! And they will not leave! Seriously, why do you need to park your ass right in front of the train doors if you have no intention whatsoever of getting off at the next stop? I mean, I could kinda understand it if it was super crowded, but it’s not. Bugger off! And why do you and your friend think the only place to hold your friendly chat is in the middle of the fucking doorway? Take two steps to either side and blab to your hearts’ content there! And why do you and your 5-6 people clique scoff as I push through you on my way to the library? Do not scoff if I push you out of the way! If you don’t react to “Excuse me, please”, it’s push time in my book. You are in the way, you probably know you are in the way, that is, if you are possessed of any kind of reasoning facility, though with your pitifully small head I doubt it, and you deserved that push! I mean, I tried to be nice! Have you any idea how hard it is to be nice when all I want to do is murder you and bury you in the backyard? Fuck the hell off!

Item 3: Boyfriend: Yes, it’s nice that you decided to take a month long vacation before starting your advanced training to spend time with me, but did it have to be October? You know October is always hella busy, don’t complain! I warned you! And don’t tell me you’re not mad. I know you’re mad. Might as well just come out and say “Why did you have to find a job now?” Instead of turning around and saying it’s not even a real job. If you’re bored between your seemingly endless playing of three different PC games while I’m away, there’s plenty of work that needs doing around the house, so get going!

Item 4: My face: Did you really need to break out now? I know I’m stressed right now, but guess what, you’re not helping! You’re making me more stressed! By the way, do your eyes really have to be this close together? Can’t you move that up a bit?

Item 5: Myself: Stop procrastinating and get things done, dammit! Why do you always leave things to the last moment?! You know it only end badly for you! Get off your ass, stop the Doctor Who marathons, (quit the potato chips while we’re at it), and do something productive! Also, you haven’t worked out for two days in a row again, get your cunting arse in gear!

Item 6: My social life: Really, friends? No word from you all summer long, because you were all too busy going on holidays and “didn’t feel like doing anything” if you weren’t, and now all of a sudden it’s like “Have time for me!”? I do what I can but you just maybe have to wait a week! Why does my social life always come in clusters? Swarms? Quagmires? I’m being swamped with social things here!

Item 7: Weather: Pick a temperature and stick with it! What are you, Bella from Twilight? You’re the weather, dammit, not some Mary Sue who can’t decide between some stupid boys!

Item 8: Can’t a girl be alone anywhere?! Seriously, sometimes I get nostalgic about living with my parents because at least I had a room of my own! (And that was about the only good thing about that particular living arrangement, I keep reminding myself, but at least I could be alone somewhere.)

And that was all from me for now. What pissed YOU off this week?


Truth serum comes in a little glass vial. – A little glass vial? – A little glass vial!

I had an eventful day yesterday.

I barely managed to complete the Blogging101 assignment of adding a simple widget, that was the kind of day I had.

Not a bad day, just so exhausting I fell asleep on the subway while standing. It was a day where I had so much to do and so many places to be. Everything suddenly has to be done TODAY, so much new stuff comes around that needs doing, and then there’s the stuff you’re supposed to do anyway. I call those days rush days. (You’ll notice that I have a name for any kind of day.)

Also, I’m a lazy sack o’ something.

Anyway, I don’t follow many blogs yet, mostly because I every time I go online I go into full on autopilot and bookmark everything but prove too stupid to press a simple ‘Follow’ button. I’m a dingus. And now I have to go through my bookmarks and catch up on pressing correct buttons.

I also have to answer to a very simple question from the daily prompt: You’ve come into possession of one vial of truth serum. Who would you give it to (with the person’s consent, of course) — and what questions would you ask?

Aaaand just like that, we’ve created ourselves a world of problems, because immediately I have like 652 questions

So prompts aren’t necessarily to be taken as serious questions but I waaaant to take it seriously because it’s really interesting because actually you can’t learn anything from this supposed truth serum.

Okay, first of, how do I even know this shit works? Was it tested? How? On whom? By whom? How big were the test and control groups? Where can I find the published and peer-reviewed results? For how long does it work? Will there be some sort of drug interaction with other meds? Does it cause allergic reactions? Is it vegan, because I know people who would make more of a stink about that than potential anaphylactic shock. What if it doesn’t even work and I don’t know about it? What if the person doesn’t give me their consent and I still want them to spill some delicious wordy tea? What if they don’t know the answer, will their head explode? I can’t even get around to answer the original question if I don’t know the specifics!

And as always, when I have so many questions, I like to imagine little scenarios.

Version 1: This serum actually works. I give it to someone, after asking them, of course.

What’s going to happen: Nothing, because if they wanted to keep anything secret from me they would have refused the serum outright. So this was a nice little exercise in complete futility.

Version 2: The serum doesn’t work.

What’s going to happen: I’ll never know and now I’m just left to believe every single word ever coming out of this person’s mouth.

Version 3: This serum actually works. I give it to someone without asking them.

What’s going to happen: Okay, I’m not actually supposed to do that, but I’m just going to mix it into someone’s vodka. Their drink being vodka, though, they’re probably already telling me more than I ever wanted to know (ever. Ever!), and I’ll never know if the truth serum had any effect.

Version 4: The serum doesn’t work. I give it to someone without asking them.

What’s going to happen: And since I don’t know whether or not the stuff works, I’m just left to believe every single word ever coming out of this person’s mouth. Even if they’re shady as fuck.

Version 5: I want to give someone the serum, but they refuse.

What’s going to happen: I will be suspicious as all hell and think they’ll have something to hide. Chances are they have, and what kind of idiot would take a truth serum if they have something to hide?

Version 5.1.: They take the serum anyway, I’ll never know if it works or not, so this was pretty useless.

So the hell with truth serums. Whatever happened to just buying people a couple rounds of drinks and pretending to be an empathetic and understanding person who they can tell everything? And if we want to get all secret agent-y about it, what happened to faking sexual interest, then slipping the guy a tranq and rifling through all his papers and computers while he’s unconscious?

If you really want to get all philosophical and metaphorical and bullshit, ask yourself what it says about YOU that you want to give someone a motherfucking truth serum. What are you, a control freak or something? Get help.

Bottom line, fuck truth serums. If you want to know something, just stalk people on facebook like a normal person.

Unless you’re a secret agent. I mean, what with today’s job market and all, I’m not judging….

P.S.: Bet you can’t guess what the post title is a reference to, ha ha!

Mayday! Mehday!


It’s the most perfect word in every language on every planet. Today it is especially important because it perfectly describes my day. I call days like this mehdays.

Basically it’s what happens when my sensitive-as-fuck-to-weather-changes migraine brain goes on a play date with my subliminal depression. Everything is meh. I rise from my bed early in the morning with the sound of “RRRrrruurgh! Arrggg!”, which is my usual ante meridiem vocabulary, and the world greets me with… meh. Weather: meh. Mood: apathetic meh. Breakfast: meh. Internet: meh. Shower: HOLY WARM GOODNESS OF THE GODS, but after two minutes: meh.

And that, in a nutshell, is a mehday. A day were everything is sort of annoying, but you’re too listless to do anything about it. A day were you don’t accomplish much, if anything, and the simple task of going to the store for bread turns into a burden of Lord of the Rings proportions. And you’re so tired, and you know you should be doing stuff, but you already know you won’t get anything done today, so you think about doing something fun, but suddenly all your hobbies are meh. So you slump on the couch and eventually fall asleep.

The general meh-ness of things is the reason why the blogging101 thing really got on my nerves today. Because everything gets on my nerves today. The fact that I have to breathe gets on my nerves. But it’s not an emotional getting-on-my-nerves, it’s a rational getting-on-my-nerves. The difference is as follows: “OMG THIS IS SO ANNOYING WON’T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT RARRRAAGGHABL!” vs. “This is kinda annoying. Meh.” Feelings of hot burning rage vs. absolute absence of any feeling of any kind.

But I did it anyway to get out of the powerful grip of the Meh (yes, it’s a thing now, like the Nothing in The Neverending Story). So, I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I already changed the header a few days ago to a snippet from the collage that hangs above my bed (made it myself, yes, it’s Monty Python inspired, no it’s not my best work, blah, blah, shut up). So I did the widget thing and added another snippet from that same collage.

And that is all I’m going to do today. I’d make popcorn and go to bed, but even that seems too much work right now.

(Yes, I do want to post this, thank you very much, wordpress edit thingy, even if you say ‘meh’ is not a word. Do my bidding, electronic slave!)