In time, you will call me master

So this might be my last post on Still Life with Grad Student. Not because I haven’t posted in a year. Just because it’s no longer accurate.

I passed my thesis defense. So I’m no longer a grad student, aight?

I almost can’t believe I’m finally done. Like, I’m a free person again! I can read books for leisure! I can play video games! I can watch Netflix! I can bake an entire cake and eat it! I can overthrow the government of a small town! I’m freeeeeee!

cave meme

And you might think, hey, a master’s degree, that’s not bad. Not me. All I could think of on the way out was my mediocre performance and the fact that I just don’t understand questions when they come to me in the form of human speech. So I was on the train, tying my gloves in knots and reliving every awkward pause, every not-quite-detailed answer, and every time I just didn’t understand what you want from me, phrase your questions better, damn you! If you want to know what anxiety and depression look like when they’re together, this is it.

On the bright side, in the near future I might earn some money, which means I can finally get out and get some decent therapy again.

But first… money. And because it’s impossible to get a job with my skills and I don’t feel like moving halfway across Europe, I made the decision some months ago that I’m going to become self-employed. Why not? Not like I like routine and a fixed income, I mean, psshhh, who does? That’s so boring! Why not have to market yourself to strangers! That sounds like a plan!

So for the past four months I’ve taken training and classes and I’m pretty much well-prepared to start out in January. Maybe I’ll rename this blog. Still Life with Freelancer, or something. Because boiiiiii, do I have things to complain about.


So James Joyce, a Burnt Out Grad Student, and a Pair of Black Socks Walk Into a Bar…

Literally, my stat connection for this year so far reads like the beginning of a beer-fuelled joke. One that ends in something stupid, too, like “And then he says, ‘That’s not a duck’!”

Why were they successful, comparatively? Well, one thing: timing. Tuesdays are popular, somehow? Second: my tag game getting stronger.

Anything else? I dunno, topics? It’s not every day you see the late, not-so-great James Joyce getting slut-shamed by a big-mouthed grad student who’s in the midst of a slight breakdown after the umpteenth Joyce lecture complete with an interpretation of Ulysses. Actually, in hindsight, maybe the prof was just making all of it up on the spot because he secretly hates Joyce too and wants to discourage all the hopeful bright-eyed students from ever reading the damn thing. Certainly worked for me, kudos to you, sir.

Also… I just imagine I was not the only student struggling with a paper deadline in January and lengthily venting my frustrations, so I guess that’s why. Seriously, is there anything worse than writing a paper you don’t really want to write?

Actually, yes, there is. Writing a paper to impress your future thesis supervisor is definitely worse.

And the last one was a daily prompt that had nothing whatsoever to do with black socks despite that being the title, in which I wax less than poetically about my inability to communicate like a basic human. Again. But daily prompts have a large audience, so duh, numbers game.

Also, people keep clicking on my Tale of Two Titties post even thought it’s at least two years old by now. Which was also a daily prompt. With a pandering eye-catching, attention-grabbing, market-research-approved title. I dare you NOT to click. It’s not very good, anyway. Okay, so it has a couple of tits in it, but that’s REALLY NOT that interesting. Seriously, don’t click.

… you just clicked it, didn’t you? Bad reader!