Rant Day! Things That Had Me Like, “Arrrrgh!”, Nov 9 – 22

Item 1: Unable to sleep all night because Boyfriend has morphed into his alter ego El Snoro Malo the Mighty Snorer Before the Lord, debating with myself at 7 am whether to go to class, finally getting my ass out of bed and getting said ass ready to leave, and finding out that class was cancelled. Like… who’s the cosmic joker who was put in charge of my life? I want a name. I want a number. I want someone I can sue.

Item 2: So if I just ignored all my responsibilities and curled up somewhere for like a month or two, would that be a problem, d’you think?

Item 3: Doing advanced training. Is stressful. Not because of the content but because it’s a weird social situation. Who’s going to be there? How do I act? What do I wear? Business casual or more casual? What if I find no one to talk to? What if everyone hates me? Is this even worth my money? maybe I should just stay home. Which personality should I project? Perky and fun? Intelligent but a bit withdrawn? Slightly sarcastic? Very sarcastic? Slightly ditzy student with perky C cups? Hah, I wish…

And to the “Just be yourself” crowd, my self is having a panic attack, and therefore no help at all. Me “being myself” will probably end with another “Oh my god, why did I tell that spinach joke?” situation.

Item 4: The Negative Nancys that I call my loved ones. When I tell you I’m doing advanced training so I’ll have better job prospects, and when I tell you I’m taking more classes this semester so I can finish my degree sooner, and when I tell you I really have a lot of work to do and a stressful week, please refrain from using the following sentences: “What good is that going to do?”, “That will never work.”, “What, we can’t binge watch Doctor Who because you have some papers to write?”, “What, you’re going to do uni work on the weekend, too?”, “You’re wasting your money/time.”, “How can you be so stressed when you just have to read some stuff?”, “How hard can it be to type stuff?”

You. Are. Not. Helping. This is why I don’t tell you bitches anything.

Item 5: Never underestimate how mental work can exhaust you. And how hungry you get doing any sort of cerebral activity. Says I as the proud owner of aisle four.

Item 6: I still need a new bag. But I want a decent bag with lots of compartments and pockets on the inside, and affordable, thank you very much. And the only one I could find that fits my unreasonably high standards was in an American online store and shipping costs as much as the thing itself. And then there’s tax. And customs. And why the hell can’t I find a decent bag that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg and half a liver?!

Item 7: I’d love to complain more but I’ve got some research to do, bye.

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