If you run around Azeroth, or Outlands, or anywhere at all you’ll notice one thing: no matter where you go, there’s lotsa dead mofos. And sometimes, they make you wonder just how the hell they died, because… huh? So just in time for Halloween, let’s look how skeletons in WoW spend their free time.
Skeleton number one, this guy who met with an accident in the middle of a drum solo:
And I’m sure we all have that one friend that you hate to play board games with because they take for-fucking-ever to make a move because they’re ‘thinking’:
The most fun for some people is going for a swim. Unless you’re in Draenor. Then you should probably stay as far away from any body of water as possible:
What’s more fun than being a corpse under water? Playing Romeo and Juliet in the fortress of Stromgarde:
Okay, so maybe I’m reading too much into that bottle. And maybe I’m slightly ignoring the overall gore of that table.
If you’re in Stormwind, avoid the barber. Why? ‘Cause:
I wouldn’t trust any barber who can’t even properly hide the corpses of his victims.
It was a normal day until Sudden Inexplicable Death. These guys are chillin’ atop a mountain in Blasted Lands. The crystal in the middle looks suspiciously like some Twilight’s Hammer accessory. Maybe this is what happens to Twilight’s Hammer’s interns?
Such a nice day for fishing, you think. No one’s gonna gank you right out in the sticks in Tirisfal, you think.
Until someone stabs you right in the… left butt cheek, apparently?
Probably while trying to fish out this gnome who had a terrible plane accident:
And then there are these skeletons in Vale of Eternal Blossoms who can’t even.
…decide what the hell they are, that is. They look like some sort of weird Saurok at a first look. Rest assured, they are not:
If this is a reference to something I have absolutely no idea to what and I’m not sure I want to know.
So your grandma was making her famous Nagrand apple pie and sends you to pick some apples, but then you took an axe to the face:
On top of a flying piece of rock, in old Nagrand. That’s as good an explanation as any.
This is one of those things that are not just weird, but take an express train to Uncanny Valley. First you think, oh how cute, a little raft.
Then you get closer and it’s like, whuh?
But the thing that throws me is not the pink doll, or the judgy looking birds, or the three empty bottles. It’s the fact that this fella has been dead long enough to completely decompose, yet somehow the fruit still looks fresh.
And that concludes this week’s skeletons. Next week we’ll look at… I dunno. I’m pretty busy this week. Let’s keep it a surprise!