Okay, so I didn’t have a lot of plans for the future when I was a kid, mostly because I was the kind of kid who planned an elaborate suicide for her tenth birthday.
…what? I can’t be the only one, right? Right?
Anyway, since that attempt failed spectacularly… I never really had any wish for my future career or whatever because I was absolutely convinced I wouldn’t live long enough anyway. I never wanted to be a vet, which was what everyone else wanted, but I’m allergic to all animals anyway so this one was right out. Nor a doctor or a fire-fighter, because what’s the point again if you have asthma? You can’t help other people if you can’t even help yourself! Model or singer or actress, no matter how much I wanted the latter one, were a laugh because I was never, ever skinny and also shy as hell. Living on a farm was a knee-slapper because of the whole allergic-to-the-world-thing. Teacher was so out of the question it was basically in another galaxy because I hated kids even when I was a kid (and absolutely nothing changed since then).
I mean, I suppose I made a bit of an effort. At some point I wanted to be a parapsychologist because hunting ghosts is totally something you should do when you are afraid that undead monsters from outer space infiltrate your wardrobe every night. Yeah… I might have been a bit weird.
I also wanted to be an author, which was a quickly abandoned project as it turned out I had nothing at all to write about. Also, the publishing situation where I live is shot to hell for all eternity. If I had known there would be online publishing at some point things might have been different. Then again, maybe not. I mean, I also tried wanting to be a journalist to bring people the truth, but when I found out that truth wasn’t appreciated, especially in politics, I quit that wish, too.
Growing up with gender roles didn’t exactly make a decision easier. No, you can’t be a manager, that’s for boys. No, you can’t have your own shop, unless you’re a hairdresser. No, you can’t be a pilot or an astronaut either, they’re not hiring any in this country anyway. Forensic pathologist? How do you even know what that is, you’re eight! Somehow Austria in the late 90s was basically wherever else in the early 1970s. My dad wanted me to become an engineer like him but made no effort to interest me in the subject, ever. I also have this deep seated problem with maths so I’m unsuitable anyway. And no one told me computer science was a thing you could study. So… that was a nope.
So in short, every prospective job was impossible due to my health, my vagina, or the fact that everything about it was actually bullshit.
Therefore, somewhere around age twelve I sort of abandoned all thought of future jobs and went back to planning my funeral, which was a lot easier because after all I wouldn’t have to do anything except lie around and be dead. Now corpse, that’s a job with a future. At least that field’s always hiring.
Aaaand I just depressed myself, everybody move along.