Rant Day! Things That Pissed Me Off… Somewhen In Late June

Item 1: So the mighty scaffolding has grown all around the building and there is now a walkway directly over my balcony at about shoulder level. It takes all I have not to go climbing on that thing and running around like a crazed kindergartner. My inner six-year-old is hammering on the inside of my skull like, “Hey! Heeey! We should totally climb that thing!” while the adult in me goes, “No, that’s forbidden, and anyway we could fall and break our neck.” To which the six-year-old wails: “But it would be fuuuun! No one would have to know! We can go climbing when the workers are gone!” And then the adult sternly: “No, that’s a very bad idea for… reasons.” And then the adult in me has the devilish thought of procuring a stick from somewhere and hitting workers on the knees as they walk by, but that would be very, very mean.

But really, if you were to put chairs and a table up there you could have a great party.

Item 2: I still have no working printer and the task of buying a new one seems both inevitable and daunting. But mostly daunting. Update July 3rd: So I got it to function via USB cord, but the wifi connection’s shot to hell. Blame it on the new modem.

Item 3: Sometimes I just have the weirdest thoughts ever. I’m kinda scared to do drugs just because of the kind of weird I am when I’m sober. But no, it’s not LSD or anything cool, just a deathly mixture of procrastination and menstruation. Avoiding work and period somehow produced this train of thought: “So every time I’m on my period I find myself suddenly attracted to really traditionally masculine men. Think lumberjack, huge, rugged, beardy, flannel-shirted lumberjack. Yeah, periods make you weird. Like, sometimes I think Little Red Riding Hood was actually just a story about a woman on her period being super horny for both a hairy rugged wolf and a hairy rugged woodcutter and accidentally ended in a foursome that involved her grandma. Which is a whole other kettle o’ weird, like could you have sex in the same room as your grandma? I couldn’t. That must be so awkward. Can you even have a normal conversation ever again after that? “Oh, I see you inherited my orgasm face.” I mean, I would die.”

Item 4: Why the hell is there a box of bell peppers on the window sill in the hallway? I know my neighbour goes to smoke out of that window two or three times a day, but what’s that got to do with bell peppers? Who goes to have a fag out of the hall window and then decides, eh, I didn’t want to be healthy anyway, let’s just leave the bell peppers here?

Item 5: So the US Supreme Court apparently managed to make a reasonable decision. Let’s celebrate! And then try to get marriage equality in my country. I mean… first Ireland, now the USA, two countries which arguably have a higher percentage of religious nutcases than Austria. And what do we have? Apparently zero interest in the topic. C’mon guys, everyone should have the same chance to ruin their love life, let’s get a law passed!

Item 6: Trouble with summer is you have to have your windows open unless you absolutely want to die. Why is this a problem? Because there are children crying outside all day every day. And it’s not baby-is-hungry cries either, it’s toddler tantrum cries complete with shrieking. I’m not a mom, I have no siblings, and I can already tell the cries of children apart, that’s how fucking much they cry.

Indicators you might be a nerd: Boyfriend installs a new graphics card on his PC and you play the opening theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey at full volume for dramatic effect.

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