There Ain’t No Cure For the Summertime Blues

So I’ve been conspicuously absent for a while and I promise it was not because I was lazing around on a beach somewhere getting the sunburn of my lifetime (you know, a really bad one, one that beats the oh-my-god-we-need-to-go-to-the-emergency-room human lobster incident from ’95).

I was, in fact, busy. Yup. Writing papers and assignments like a mean ol’ mofo. Then when that was done, what do you know, a new patch come out in World of Warcraft and I had to go be a hero and build little ships and battle the Iron Horde, sooo…

And then I found out I really quite like Heroes of the Storm, sooo….

And then I got into Torchwood*, sooo….

So I wasn’t lazing around on a beach but literally everywhere else.

And now it’s the summer holidays until fucking October, oh fuck, whose idea was this?! I’m really getting old. When I was young, a three month summer break was my idea of heaven. Now it’s just a source of frustration. I’m out of work, I haven’t found a replacement for that or an internship or anything, I’m being really paranoid that I’m becoming unemployable, there are no useful summer classes I could take, all my friends are so damn successful and I’m over here like… I’m doing laundry. That’s productive, right? Right?!

So now I’m basically just sending begging mails to potential supervisors and making a mental note to kick my lazy butt into action to start working on that thesis. I’m making a summer plan! Alright, I say to myself, what I need to do absolutely every day is work on my thesis, look for jobs, and blog.

But then I’m over here like… nah. The summer lethargy already has me in its grips and we’re only on day one.

What I’m currently doing is debating with myself whether or not to go out and buy expensive new beauty products to try out because that’s totally something you should do when you have no money (you do it too, don’t lie). But that requires pants. Or any sort of clothes, really. And it’s hot outside. We’re in the middle of a heat wave. We never get any decent fucking weather, it’s either too damn hot or too damn cold, there’s no in between.  So outside is bad. And anyway, why isn’t there a store that sells little cheap samples of every product out there? Why do I always have to buy an entire bottle of something? Makes no damn sense.

I think I won’t go out until evening when I’m headed to the open air cinema to watch an ancient German comedy that involves cross-dressing. I mean, if that doesn’t cheer you up, what will? Actually, cross-dressing is becoming a running theme in my life, I just saw Some Like It Hot again, and a colleague at uni made me watch Ru Paul’s Drag Race, which is basically a two hour bitch fight with glitter. They also do music videos. What’s going to be next, am I going to start dressing like a woman? I mean, nah, I won’t, but still, worrisome (yes, this joke is only funny if you know I’m a girl).

So I guess I’m going to go do laundry… maybe eat something… oh ye gods… ten years ago I would be having so much fun right now, where’s the time when summers were fun, where’s my youth gone, I’m so old…

 

*Which is basically a show where everyone sleeps with everyone else. Also, sometimes there’s aliens. But then there’s Jack Harkness, arguably the biggest slut in the universe, who just can’t seem to get any, at least in the first season, and I hope that changes. I mean, if you don’t have shirtless flirting Jack Harkness, that’s no good use of your Jack Harkness. Pony up the fan service!

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