Rant Day! Things That Pissed Me Off, May 23-29

So I guess someone in the vasts of the universe was like, “Keep ’em coming!” because here I am with a fresh batch of complaints.

Item 1: Construction work going on at my house. The workers are kinda fucking rude. Yes, sorry, I live here, that means I need to go in and out of the front door at intervals, ever so sorry for interrupting the screaming conversation you had with your colleague who was standing on the second floor while you parked your ass in the middle of the only walkway you left us. A walkway that is about 1,20m broad. While you care also about 1, 20m broad. Also, yes, I really need to go up the stairs, it’s a really bad idea to park all your tool boxes there. No, I won’t wait an hour until you’re fucking done with whatever you’re doing at the neighbour’s, I need to go through here now.

Item 2: People of the mighty house management, if thou dost not tell me right the fuck now when I need to be home for the big window change event I will cut you. If your crew just randomly knocks on my door next week I won’t answer. I’ll probably won’t even be home! You can knock all day! It’s in your own best interest to give me as much information as possible, you see?

Item 3: Sometimes I can’t believe the kind of people that a) have jobs and b) are better paid than me. Like… do you have some serious connection? Is this black magic, and if yes, where can I learn this dark and forbidden art? Can I pay in soul?

Item 4: Public Transport News: Who the hell smells like playdoh and vodka in here?!

Item 5: Could everyone please just keep their children out of my way? Seriously. One day one of them is gonna hit their head on my bag and then you’ll blame me instead of teaching them some basic movement skillz. Look, I’m all of 1,65m, to someone who can walk under a table without ducking I’m an outright menace! Also, to the kid screaming with such an impressive loudness I could hear you from two blocks away: You might wanna sign up for Eurovision next year, shake things up a bit. They won’t even need microphones to hear you all the way over in fucking Finland.

Item 6: So people keep telling me how organised and efficient I am (#humblebrag), maybe I should ask them to give me that in writing so I can attach it to my job applications? Maybe that would help?

Item 7: I will keep baking bread until I figure out how to make a perfect loaf and nothing and no one can stop me! One day I shall triumph!

No-really-a-complaint-but-anyway: So Boyfriend and me gave each other Doctor Who Toys and comic books for our anniversary because we are responsible adults who make our own decisions. Somehow I think we’re getting this whole adulting thing wrong. Not sure if cute and geeky or just sad. Need to ask my plush Dalek.*


*Predictably, the little fucker is not answering my question, it’s recommending to “Exterminate!”


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