So last week I was so preoccupied with Easter and all the EATING this entails I completely forgot to complain about stuff and life and stuff. Let me rectify this now:
Item 1: My writing sucks. It’s not until you join a writing class that you realize how much you suck. I just realised it and this sucks, too.
Item 2: If someone could explain my body to me that’d be great. So I’ve been bitching about my weight since December. It’s mid-April now and guess what’s happening? Like, knocking on wood here, but I’ve been dropping pounds despite my steady diet of Easter candy. (The chocolate bunny army has been severely diminished and will face a crushing defeat in the near future. Napoleon Bunnyparte ain’t got nothing on my sweet tooth.) So I have this theory now that my body just holds on to every fat cell until the weather gets warmer because hey, we might be facing the next ice age. Does this make sense? Are there any studies on weight loss in correlation with weather changes?
Item 3: Whoever said the economy is picking itself up again is a lying liar who lies and if his pants aren’t on fire yet I will absolutely correct that. The price of everything is up again.
Item 4: Where’s the “fuck off” button on my phone?
Item 5: Brain, stop relapsing into your natural sleep cycle, you know 4 a.m. to noon is not the accepted practice.
Item 6: Whyyyy do I have to spend 40 bucks on books? They’re not even for leisure reading, I need them for my thesis and I can’t get them in my country and the library is being a dick about it, too, because as per usual an inter-library loan is not possible, and even if it was it’d cost the exact same amount. Whyyyy? I’m so fucking broke!
Item 7: Speaking of which, I can’t remember the last time I read something for the fun of it, it’s always for a paper or other, or an assignment or other. The only leisure reading happening nowadays is on the internet. Is that a good development or bad one? I mean, actually no one can complain that kids today don’t read anymore, they read all the time. The internet is Words Central, we do nothing but read. Sometimes we watch videos, but other than that, reading, all day every day.
Item 8: So Boyfriend suggested we do a weekly meal plan but he’s somehow opposed to five days of pancakes followed by two days of pizza. Nope, suddenly we’re all grown up so now we have to eat salmon. Because it’s good for you, it has like Omega shit in it. I fucking hate fish, why don’t you stuff that Omega where the sun don’t shine? Why did they have to stick his ass in a class about nutrition? He’s been getting on my nerves about our diets ever since. He’s also convinced that pickled cabbage stuff counts as salad. In related news, he’s still opposed to cooking the fuck himself, so I can still say, tough luck. She who wields the pan holds the power!
Item 9: Oh my god, SHUT UP! I swear those crows outside are re-enacting an episode from daytime reality TV the way they’re screaming at each other.
Okay, guess I’m done. What pissed YOU off this week?