Rhythm Is A Dancer With Two Left Feet

So today’s writing101 task is all about music. I tried a twenty minute free write, because I really suck at free writing. Enjoy!


There are currently 6,366 files in my music folder alone. And you tell me to pick three. Three out of over 6000. Those 6000 are there for a reason. Every single one of those over 6000 meant something to me at one point in time, even if it was only “Hey, this beat it neat” or “Lol, he said butt”. And you tell me to pick three.

Couldn’t you have asked me that ten years ago? Ten years ago everything was so clear. Ten years ago I could have named you three, one for The Smiths, one for The Cure, and one for Siouxsie and the Banshees.

But I forgot because, shit, it’s been ten years. I’m fucking old, my memory’s not what it used to be, you whippersnapper.

I’m not going to pick three. I’m against the top three and the tops tens and the top anything. It’s a matter of principle. Why do we feel the need to put everything into neat little packages, shaving down on topics until there’s almost nothing left? Your three favourite books. The ten things you’d take to a remote island, nevermind the things you need for actual survival. The five songs you want played at your funeral.

Maybe it’s because I don’t like numbers. I’m not good with numbers, I look at them and they start to squirm and wiggle, I can’t focus on them. Can we try something else? Colours! Why does no one ever ask, what’s your three reddest songs? Oh right, because not everyone has that weird brain malfunction that I have.

Or maybe it’s because, holy shit, over 6000 files, and I listened to every one at least once! I listened to at least 6000 songs in my life. Not even counting radio, that would blow it up to 10,000 I’m sure. Not even counting listening to one a couple times, in this case it’s probably a million. And you tell me to pick three. Out of a million.

Who’s your three best friends? When did we get into this habit of grading people? And by what criteria, even? Do we award points? This one shared her lunch with me, so that’s 5.5 friendship points, but this one got me a job, so that’s like 8.7 friendship points, but the other one…

It’s even more difficult with songs. I like this one because… it sounds… kinda… okayish? I like the part that goes oooeeewwwooo? I’m about as musical as a cucumber, I don’t know how to describe anything. The fuck is a bass line even? I like the glittery parts, which I recently found out is actually what a synthesizer sounds like. Glittery. Synaesthesia is fun. I mean, I guess I can like the lyrics. I can relate to some parts, surely. Not to others because, shit, I’m not male. I never had a guy riding round town with the girl I love, and if I did I wouldn’t be so bitter about it, and while I do know a lot about pink Cadillacs I’m not so shallow as to proclaim love over it. I also don’t know the burden of being rich and famous, sorry. Started from the bottom, now I’m here, and ‘here’ is defined as somewhere slightly, but not by much, above the poverty line, basically started from the bottom, stayed somewhere in the middle. Now how’s that for a song?

I guess ideally it’d be songs that bring back like memories and shit, but that’s going right back to The Smiths, and The Smiths is not happy memories. It is physically impossible to be happy while listening to The Smiths. The Cure has a chance, New Order has a chance, fucking Christian Death has half a chance, The Smiths, none, nada, absolutely not. Who remembers that, anyway? Sounds like cross examination. Shine a light in my face all like, “Where were you when you first heard ‘Stop! Collaborate and listen.’?” Uh, I dunno, kindergarten? I don’t really remember, officer, I had had a couple drinks.

In other news, I’m sure I just forgot every song I ever heard, just because it’s been brought up. What’s your favourite book? Forgot every book I ever read. What’s your favourite movie? Forgot every film I’ve ever seen, yes, even the YouTube videos. What’s your favourite song? Uhhhh… the one that goes ooooeeewwwoooo.

Kudos to you if you got all the references. They’re not my favourites, they’re just memorable.

For the record, I am currently listening to a dubstep remix of the Imperial March, so… what did you expect, I mean, really?


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