Rant Day! Things That Pissed Me Off, March 21-27

I’m on time! For a change!

Item 1: I swear, some of y’all bitches couldn’t be on time for your own execution. How hard is it to get up in a timely manner, get dressed in a timely manner, and leave the fucking house in a fucking timely manner to fucking arrive on time? “Oh, you’re taking this too seriously.” Fucking hell yeah I’m taking punctuality seriously!

Item 2: Computers everywhere. Seriously, am I too stupid? Am I charged statically? Why won’t no damn computer work when I’m around?

Item 3: So there’s this girl. I know, nothing good can come from anything that starts with a sentence like that. The problem is she’s kinda perfect and I don’t know what to do, it’s like kinda want to be her, kinda want to be on her, kinda want to hate her because Christ’s left foot on a cracker, do you have to be beautiful and smart and sociable and have your life together?! Kinda wanna get really drunk over this, kinda don’t wanna talk about it at all because I’ll talk myself into a crush and that’d be really, really bad.

Item 4: Some days things go wrong. Some days however have you like “I need a cold beer when I get home” and you don’t even drink. Like today with its seemingly endless hassle over office keys and meeting people at just the right time and generally too much shit to do.

Item 5: All the uninteresting shit I have to do all day every day is throwing off my vibe. Like, I want to blog about so much but then when I finally come hone it’s like… make food. Clean flat. Pack lunch. Do assignments. Do research. Try for the hundredth time to get a hold of your friends. And somehow in all of this I’m like, “Nah, too tired to write.” This is bad. I’m losing my edge!

Item 6: Boyfriiiiiennnnd, just start drinking coffee already! Make a pot and take it with you in a thermos! Your Red Bull addiction is killing the food budget! At least buy some cheaper shit that tastes like liquefied grilled gummy bears, like seriously the only way this stuff even keeps you awake is because it tastes so awful your body probably thinks it’s been poisoned and dying!

Item 7: Actually, I’m pretty convinced the scale is broken, because while it keeps showing me the same damn numbers, I fit into my smaller jeans no problem. Something is going on, but I’m too lazy to investigate, let alone buy new batteries, because it’s those fancy small flat ones instead of regular ones. Ain’t nobody got money for that.

And that’s it. I’m going to do a face mask and other girly shit now. Girly shit rules.

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