Long ass rants ahead in which I, among other things, declare myself part of Generation Y Bother? and generally give up on life. If you want something shorter and sweeter, head over to last week’s rant.
Item 1: So Boyfriend starts this huge discussion with me, yakety-yak, and about how we need like a robot copy of me and then I say maybe I should just clone myself and then he’s like, but if there’s a second one of you with exactly the same thoughts and feelings and shit it’s going to be awful, because you’ll both want the same things and you’ll both hate the same things, and I’m like, yeah, that’s awesome, okay so we need to go shopping so Grad Student 2 can have the same clothes and stuff, but like I’m already my own best friend and my awesomeness doubled is surely a gift to mankind, and he’s like, you’re much too optimistic (you keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means) and every person is unique and wants to be unique so you’d really hate your second self, and I’m like, bullshit, we’d just touch each other’s boobs all day long and eat pancakes every day and I could get so much work done if there was two of me, and he just shakes his head like I’m so stupid, because he takes light-hearted discussions about hypotheticals too damned seriously.
Item 2: Once in a while, I like to try new recipes. And this presents problems because like hell am I going to drive around the city for one stupid ingredient that you can only get at a specialist shop or, hell, not at all because wrong country. If it ain’t in the grocery store, it ain’t getting cooked, simple as that. So I browse through cooking blogs and come across something that looks interesting, and there’s one thing I hate about those blogs, they show you all those awesome pictures first and then after endless scrolling and exclamations of “I can haz recipe pls?!” you finally get to the important part and then you can close the tab because you don’t have or can’t get half the ingredients. Like, can’t you give me the important part first and then show off your mad foodie photography skills? Here’s how I see most ingredients lists: 1 cup don’t have, 1/2 cup don’t have either, 2 tbsp nope don’t have that either, 1 tsp okay I have that, 1 cup where the hell am I gonna get that? 1 1/2 cup is that even legal here?, 1 tbsp what the hell is that even?, and a pinch of salt. I have salt. At least I have salt. I can work with salt.
Item 3: Bitch, don’t kill my vibe. Seriously, I was feeling well today, I mean, apart from probably developing stomach ulcers due to stress, my stomach really hurts, but I was kinda happy so stop being a dick to me, dammit! This addressed to the entire freaking world.
Item 4: So everyone in my country is going crazy because a young journalist student ranted about unpaid internships on her blog. Thing is: She ain’t never lied. Why should young people work for free? Why do big name companies have “no money” to pay anyone? Why do they only take in three interns a year? Why is it so hard to find an internship at all, and then get a bit of a living wage because after all you’re working full time there? And because we live in the country that we live in, everyone is losing their fucking minds. And then we have the apologists come in full force all like “Your own fault for choosing this” like, yeah, who the hell needs journalists and free press? “Well, don’t work for free, then, duh.” Yeah, because there’s like oodles of paid internships. “Get a job, then, duh.” Yeah, because there’s like oodles of jobs that will take you on without any work experience. “Oh, it’s worse in America, you have to pay for uni there”. Yeah, and in other parts of the world you get shot if you want to go to school at all, and? Just because it’s worse somewhere else doesn’t mean everything is peachy keen here. Isn’t the whole point of standards that they’re supposed to be high instead of below ground level? You know, so things can get better? Thing is, bosses around here are fucking delusional, even if you did all your unpaid internships, it’s never fucking enough experience to get a halfway decent job. There’s always something fatally wrong, like, oh, you don’t have five years experience, oh you’re too old at 25 years of age, oh you wasted too much time getting a university degree, oh you didn’t go to business school. And then there’s the old fucks who’re like, “Typical young people, don’t know shit but always running their mouths!” Yeaaaah, guess where we learnt that from, because you were so totally different when you spent your twenties in the park smoking pot and telling your hippie friends how you’ll do everything oh so differently than your parent’s generation. Now you too run a big company that exploits the younger crowd. “Well, when I was young, I worked and studied and lived on my own!” Yeah, and you did all this in a time of completely free uni, masses of benefits courtesy by the state, and when the equivalent of 200 Euros could actually keep you fed, clothed and with a roof over your head. Nowadays you can’t even get a room in a shared flat for 200. And then you voted all the benefits out of existence, let the banks just go haywire, fucked up the economy and expect the next generation to clean up your mess, because we’re apparently your future. You old shits fucked it up for us and now you complain that we want to get paid for actual work? Hey, at least this isn’t late 18th c. France, or we’d have a revolution up in here.
(And if that girl and people like her were 19th c. factory workers instead of 21st c. students, they’d get lauded as heroes for standing up to the “capitalist pigs” and “the man”. But as it is, students are just hailed as ungrateful loudmouths who should pull themselves up by their bootstraps, which would be easy if we had any goddamn boots.)
Item 5: By the looks of it, I’ll probably have my master’s thesis finished before I’ll find a supervisor. Staff shortage!
Ooooohhh! If anyone needs me, I’ll be
jumping off a bridge getting real drunk in the angry dome!