I had an eventful day yesterday.
I barely managed to complete the Blogging101 assignment of adding a simple widget, that was the kind of day I had.
Not a bad day, just so exhausting I fell asleep on the subway while standing. It was a day where I had so much to do and so many places to be. Everything suddenly has to be done TODAY, so much new stuff comes around that needs doing, and then there’s the stuff you’re supposed to do anyway. I call those days rush days. (You’ll notice that I have a name for any kind of day.)
Also, I’m a lazy sack o’ something.
Anyway, I don’t follow many blogs yet, mostly because I every time I go online I go into full on autopilot and bookmark everything but prove too stupid to press a simple ‘Follow’ button. I’m a dingus. And now I have to go through my bookmarks and catch up on pressing correct buttons.
I also have to answer to a very simple question from the daily prompt: You’ve come into possession of one vial of truth serum. Who would you give it to (with the person’s consent, of course) — and what questions would you ask?
Aaaand just like that, we’ve created ourselves a world of problems, because immediately I have like 652 questions
So prompts aren’t necessarily to be taken as serious questions but I waaaant to take it seriously because it’s really interesting because actually you can’t learn anything from this supposed truth serum.
Okay, first of, how do I even know this shit works? Was it tested? How? On whom? By whom? How big were the test and control groups? Where can I find the published and peer-reviewed results? For how long does it work? Will there be some sort of drug interaction with other meds? Does it cause allergic reactions? Is it vegan, because I know people who would make more of a stink about that than potential anaphylactic shock. What if it doesn’t even work and I don’t know about it? What if the person doesn’t give me their consent and I still want them to spill some delicious wordy tea? What if they don’t know the answer, will their head explode? I can’t even get around to answer the original question if I don’t know the specifics!
And as always, when I have so many questions, I like to imagine little scenarios.
Version 1: This serum actually works. I give it to someone, after asking them, of course.
What’s going to happen: Nothing, because if they wanted to keep anything secret from me they would have refused the serum outright. So this was a nice little exercise in complete futility.
Version 2: The serum doesn’t work.
What’s going to happen: I’ll never know and now I’m just left to believe every single word ever coming out of this person’s mouth.
Version 3: This serum actually works. I give it to someone without asking them.
What’s going to happen: Okay, I’m not actually supposed to do that, but I’m just going to mix it into someone’s vodka. Their drink being vodka, though, they’re probably already telling me more than I ever wanted to know (ever. Ever!), and I’ll never know if the truth serum had any effect.
Version 4: The serum doesn’t work. I give it to someone without asking them.
What’s going to happen: And since I don’t know whether or not the stuff works, I’m just left to believe every single word ever coming out of this person’s mouth. Even if they’re shady as fuck.
Version 5: I want to give someone the serum, but they refuse.
What’s going to happen: I will be suspicious as all hell and think they’ll have something to hide. Chances are they have, and what kind of idiot would take a truth serum if they have something to hide?
Version 5.1.: They take the serum anyway, I’ll never know if it works or not, so this was pretty useless.
So the hell with truth serums. Whatever happened to just buying people a couple rounds of drinks and pretending to be an empathetic and understanding person who they can tell everything? And if we want to get all secret agent-y about it, what happened to faking sexual interest, then slipping the guy a tranq and rifling through all his papers and computers while he’s unconscious?
If you really want to get all philosophical and metaphorical and bullshit, ask yourself what it says about YOU that you want to give someone a motherfucking truth serum. What are you, a control freak or something? Get help.
Bottom line, fuck truth serums. If you want to know something, just stalk people on facebook like a normal person.
Unless you’re a secret agent. I mean, what with today’s job market and all, I’m not judging….
P.S.: Bet you can’t guess what the post title is a reference to, ha ha!