“If you don’t like something, why don’t you go on the internet and complain, like a normal person would?”

There’s random construction work going on in my apartment building, sounds like they’re tearing down a wall, but they’re probably just knocking on a nail; acoustics are wack in this old house. It’s just a lot of banging and cursing… on second thought, it might be the folks next door getting frisky. Anyway.

It’s 8 am on a Monday, I’ve been up for a good two hours now, started to type up some more job applications and I’m stuck. Why is it so hard to write about myself? It’s all I do on here. Then again, I’m just exposing myself as an idiot here, and potential employers would probably rather know about the useful things I can do.

I mean, I can do a lot of things. I’m pretty organised and have managed entire group projects fine by myself (no thanks to you, slacky slackers who did not pull their weight and dropped off the face of the earth only to magically reappear on the day of the presentation). I’ve taken care of relatives after surgery, so I’d say I’m pretty good at this responsibility thing. I speak English almost as well as my first language (if I do say so myself (and don’t you dare tell me otherwise)) which should be a pretty good asset in a country with apparently an all-time low in language skills. Problem is, people want your perfect English skills – on the condition that you’re no older than 18, and if you speak a Slavic language of some sort, well, even better, now have you been through business management training? Commercial education? What, university? What the hell is that, you some kinda wizard? Fuck off.

I’m not frustrated or anything. Anyway.

So because I’m stuck I’m distracting myself with Blogging101 and giving the About page a makeover. It’s good to get back into the swing of things after a weekend spent in my PJs, playing MMOs and eating pancakes. That would be a good title for my autobiography: ‘Days Well Wasted. An enthralling story about accomplishing absolutely nothing’.

Actually, that would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone. Right after that Dorothy Parker quote. Anyway.

Anyway, I can do a lot of things. I just don’t always know I can because I’m very learning-by-doing-even-if-I-have-no-idea-how. I didn’t know I could, on my own, go to Ikea, buy a big honking shelf, take it on an exciting adventure consisting of an hour-long ride on public transport (neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor buses nor whiny-complainy people nor subways nor broken elevators stays this bitch from the swift completion of getting this motherfucker home), schlep it up a couple of flights of stairs, assemble it and screw it to the wall, and all before supper, until I did it.

I didn’t know I could cook some real bitching beef stew until I tried. I didn’t know I could fix sinks or light fixtures, or make collages, or organise house moving, or teach teens English and German, and old people how to defeat the beast known as personal computer, or translate shit, or transcribe shit, and then I did and it was fine. Bottom line: Just let me do things. I know we live in a world where trying stuff and maybe failing at first attempt is unappreciated, to say the least, but come the fuck on. I can do the thing. Let me do the thing. And give me money for the thing.

And tell me how to put my awesomeness in words I can actually put in an application form.

Anyway, I’m getting distracted from my distraction. So the good people of the Daily Post posed some questions for me to answer and for thine eyes, gentle reader, to consume:

  • What are the key pieces of your story you included in the About widget? Why did you make those the focus, instead of all the other wonderful things about you and your blog?
    • Just some basic information so everyone who expected something really insightful or interesting here can escape to another blog in time.
  •  Arethere topics you don’t ever want to write about? Why not? What fact was hardest to leave off your About page or widget?
    • Anything seriously serious. Or politics. Or both. I don’t do serious, it makes me cry. And anyway, Boyfriend would be out of a job if I complained about the serious shit on here. Won’t somebody please think of the children the Boyfriend?
  • What are the top three things you’d like to learn, or ways you’d like to grow, from blogging? The top three people you’d like to connect with?
    • Uhhh… that I don’t have the attention span of a squirrel on crack, that something amusing can come from my frequent procrastination, and that I’m a worthwhile human being an interesting person slightly entertaining, I guess?
    • As for the second point, peopleeeee? No one told me there’d be people on the internet! Also, I don’t rank people, don’t be rude, Blogging101. If we start putting people into categories, the extraterrestrials will have won.

And that’s all for now, it’s time to do offline stuff. Blergh.

 

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